Parenthood is subjective. It is a work of art that some people get, and others don’t. My parenthood is different than yours. Yours is different than the sad beige moms on Instagram. Hers is different than the crunchy mom on tik tok. Some things resonate more with other people, and these are what resonate with me. I am still finding the beauty of the balancing act that it motherhood. What fun would it be if we all had the answers already though? That wouldn’t leave room for growth and fortitude. For deep wells of feeling and blissful highs of joy. I am not telling you that you should do any of the following. These are what I have let go of as a new parent and what I am still releasing. It’s a graceful marathon, not a pressurized sprint.
A totally clean house or clean kitchen. If you cook your meals, these will be messy while you’re in the childbearing years. No matter how much you clean, it will be a mess still… somehow. And that’s perfectly fine. Most people give you a lot of grace about that too, especially if you’re a full-time homemaker, like I am. Occasionally, it’s alright to go to bed with dishes in the sink. As long as foods put away and the mess doesn’t become habit, everything will be fine. I do my best to tidy up as I go. Clean the bathroom and keep everyone in clean underpants.
Expectations. This is redundant to all the other articles, but this mindset really needs to be addressed. It took me years, and still to this day, I am working to let that go as a new parent. The children will scream and throw fits, you will wear yoga pants on some days, your hair will go unbrushed just like your screaming toddler’s will. Nothing is going to be exactly as you want/think/plan. Such is life with littles and the day WILL come when your house looks and feel the way you want. The dishes put away every night. No small toys with missing pieces laying around the floor. The season will eventually end so in the mean time, don’t expect the be the perfect sad beige Instagram mom. The mom guilt is absolutely real and I feel it as often as the next mom.
The smart phone. Put it down. Put it away. Get it out of your pocket. Let it go when you become a new parent. I tell myself all the time that I DO NOT NEED A SMART PHONE. It’s main purpose is this blog and the camera. Both of which I can do with a different piece of technology. Social medias alike are so damaging to young minds and new parents. Comparison is such a formidable and subtle enemy. Its a slow burn of your self esteem. For mine it was at least.
A strict schedule. Everything constantly changes with littles. Suddenly they’re walking or going through a developmental leap, and no one is sleeping. Schedules can’t be a thing. I’ve tried and failed. It just doesn’t work. But I have developed a rhythm. More of a routine, which kids enjoy because when they know what’s coming it helps them to feel more in control. Okay mama.. I know bath time, that means bedtime is soon, and stories and pjs, etc.
Your hobbies. This may be a little depressing for some, but hobbies will always be there. Always. Your children will not always be 6 months, 1 year, 2 years. That only happens once for them so being present for it makes all the difference. I’d love to read, write, play music, learn pottery, garden more, and sew more. But I just can’t. I don’t have the time because I’m on the floor setting up train tracking and barn yard animals for my boys to destroy in fourteen minutes. Or I’m cooking as much food from scratch as I can to keep up with their insatiable appetites. My kids always take priority over myself. Always. I live to serve my family and they come first. I am more than willing to sacrifice a miniscule piece of my desire for them.
Just in case you are in yelling at me in your head. You don’t really have to let go of any of these things as a new parent. This is what I did and dang it, if it didn’t help me to level up my mom game. I find time for all these things. There are pockets of free time to myself, and I prioritize my extra curriculars as I see fit. I still find time to read books, write this blog, write books, sew things, and so whatever I feel like. None of those things are more important than my children though.
Letting go as a new parent is another marathon. I have learned alongside my children as they have grown. I’m still figuring this whole natural motherhood gig out and I hope that this can bring you a bit of inspiration. Not only did I let go of these things, I ditched so much extra physical stuff in letting go of these. Craft stuff, clothes, social medias, and all those mindsets that happen when you become a new parent.
Well, I am still moving through the mindset part. My emotions just happen and as a new parent, mom or dad, you will find your emotions are sometimes overwhelming.
What are some things you have let go of as a new parent? Did we have some in common or absolutely none?
Letting go in gratitude,
Tayler
