I spent too long lingering. Stewing on grief and upset about the uncontrollable aspects in my life. Cancer was a word I often heard. Lost had so many meanings. I wrote incessantly; poems, therapies, prayers, anything. It was all very cathartic. Finally, now, I can come back into the world feeling somewhat sturdy again. My heart posture has been low and high, weak and steady, but I won’t let any of the waves stop my growth and faith.
This will not be an SEO filled post. It won’t have affiliates or any of that technical blog stuff because none of its necessary. I wanted to just say to anyone reading this, that this post isn’t easy. It’s just more of a personal confessional type. Why have I been gone for two months?
Well, I had a miscarriage.
I released a Substack to no one, because I have zero ‘following’ there. Which is just fine. I prefer the old school, long form blogs that don’t require a subscription to read. That is an entirely different post of course.
So much has happened recently. I’m grateful to come out on the other side, somewhat strengthened, yet still uneasy if I marinate with it all for too long.
Loss aside, I won’t get into details about all the things because I don’t need to.
I had my grieving period. I surrendered it. Felt it. Tried hard to cling to it, I didn’t want to let it go. Simultaneously, I wanted to burn it all up and completely forget everything that’s happened. But I’ve become very good at the ‘unclinging‘ so with time, wounds just turn into scars.
What’s to come
All this introspection has left me with a better understanding of myself. My emotions, my relationship to death and who I am.
As a child of God, as a woman of the Earth, as the mother to my family.
The blog is becoming something very different. It will go through a rebirth, as I have.
The direction of my entire life has shifted, and this blog has always been a creative outlet for the seasons I live through.
Poetry and journaling will be more prevalent as this has been my mode of release and I’ve become more comfortable and confident sharing my newfound art forms with people lately.
I want to post more personal things on here like I used to. Not just content and information.
More of my heart.
I know that kind of blog no longer brings in revenue, it’s not 2006 anymore.
Youtube is unappealing and substack doesn’t allow for connection unless its paid for.
This space I’m creating on here will become even more intentional.
At least I hope so.
What I want is just the freedom, and luxury, to follow my heart.
It has served me well thus far.
And so my friends, I hope this post finds you well and stay tuned for a lot of new offerings, revelations, gatherings of the heart, and the beautiful Godly work we do in our homes that exudes out into the world.
