We all have those tough days. When you’re not feeling one hundred percent, when your child isn’t listening, plans don’t go accordingly; there are plenty of causes for a bad day. How do we get around that? How do we climb this steep part of the mountain? When you’re struggling to find gratitude, like we all do some days, it’s still there, it’s just waiting to be found.
I’ll find myself saying, ‘let’s just get through this day’ ‘I need the day to be over’, falling into the pity party that I hate to host for myself. So when I don’t want to host it, what can I do? I can’t stand when I feel sorry for myself. The whole ‘woe is me’ thing I left behind a LONG time ago.
There’s always a simple solution to things when I tend to overcomplicate them. It’s always as easy as a perspective shift or a good cup of tea. For me, the little luxuries in life are what get me through those tough days to find the gratitude again, and remember all the blessings I have.
Allow yourself to feel
You can’t have good days without bad ones. When that happens you end up appreciating those good days, even those good moments even more because bad days have occurred.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having days where you want to throw your hands up in the air and just give up on salvaging the day. I had one just yesterday and just said “I’m done, I’m done.” I wanted to cry and drive away and sit in the shower for two hours until I was a prune.
I know that feeling my emotions is easier than shoving them back down inside. When that happens, I explode with anger or resentment because I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel it in the first place. Which happens to moms often, we feel like we’re the ones who have to keep it all together all the time. Because let’s face it, we’re the glue of the family and the home.
Finding pockets of gratitude
Even though I was upset with my husband, frustrated with my disobedient toddler, and just pitying myself because I couldn’t snap out of it, I kept trying to make things better. I kept searching desperately for something to say thank you for.
I had to find gratitude in dishes I finally finished. In the laundry that was actually put away. In the random housework I finished early in the morning and the toys that weren’t strewn across the living room.
Sometimes the small things are what can be the silver lining of a cloudy mood. I began writing this post and realizing how I just needed to feel what I was feeling so it could pass. Just as the rain needs to pour and then the storm moves on.
Ways to weather the storm for the kids
Having a ‘minimal discipline day’ is something I may get crap for but it works and I don’t have to stress as much because I’m eight months pregnant and do not need that right now. Obviously still maintain boundaries, like no standing on the table or doing unsafe things, but I’ve found that when I allow my toddler to be a little wild and misbehave a bit the next day he wants to listen. He’s more willing after he’s gotten some natural tendencies out of the way and wants the structure back. He likes the independence of putting his dishes in the sink and picking up his own toys.
Loosen the screen time restrictions. Really so that you can just have a moment of quiet to yourself. I’m pretty strict on screen time but the more pregnant I get the less I care. Also we’re going to be selling the tv next year so he won’t have it for much longer.
Go outside for an extended period of time. Nature always calms me and my child down and makes me immediately forget my troubles. It reminds how small my problems are and my mind is just making them into these huge mountains when all it could be was burnt pancakes that still taste great. Overreaction happens sometimes and that’s okay! We can simply let it go to birds.
Find gratitude for YOU
Do some things for YOU. Simple things like getting dressed put me in a ‘ready to tackle anything’ mindset. Making a cup of tea, scrolling on Pinterest, whatever your thing may be. Don’t forget about yourself in the midst of taking care of your family and home. After all you’re a part of this family too and someone needs to take of you. Why not someone who knows you the nest, YOURSELF! 🙂
Don’t worry about the mess or ask your partner to do a few things. Delegating can be a good thing, and on these bad days just ignoring it for tomorrow when you’re ready to handle it again can be a win.
Play music throughout the day. This is a personal preference. Music just like nature has such an incredible ability to shift not only your mood and mindset, but the entire atmosphere of the house.
Try to see the guilt as empowerment over your mind. Something that triggered my bad day yesterday was canceling on a lakeside play day. I also didn’t do anything on my list that I had planned and everything sort of fell apart at the lost play date. I found myself feeling super guilty for bailing last minute especially since I had made the plans. But I told myself that my cup was overflowing and I couldn’t handle it. I felt better about canceling as the day went on because doing something I didn’t want to do was only going to worsen my mood and my child’s. So seeing it as empowerment of my overreacting mind made me feel better. Like I was taking back control of my rampant thoughts.
At the end of the day
During those dark storms that seem intimidating and something to avoid, they’re a useful tool to practice and find gratitude in the lowest places.
Maybe your thing is journaling, maybe it’s exercising, maybe it’s simply prayer or mediation. At the end of the day though we can be grateful for the simplest things. Our health, our family, even the bad days that reveal more gratitude than we realize.
In Gratitude,
Tayler
