Making the switch from one kid to two is TERRIFYING. I’m not going to lie to you. I haven’t even given birth yet and I’m worried about all the typical things you’d think a mother would worry about. I became pregnant when my son was just under two years old, still definitely a toddler, but nonetheless still challenging. Today, I want to express my good and bad emotions around raising a toddler while pregnant.
My husband and I had to tackle A LOT because we wanted a smooth transition to having multiple children. Things like potty learning, getting him in his own room, ACTUALLY sleeping in said room, listening more in general, cleaning up after himself, then just the simple fact of understanding there was a baby in my belly and not to jump on me anymore. Like I said, it was A LOT.
I decided to write this because I can imagine there are plenty of us out there with all these fears and doubts. In doing so I’m hoping I can shed some light for not only you but for myself too. Writing and sharing has always been a helpful tool for me to ease my mind ever since I was a kid.
Easing The Mind’s Turmoil
I know that I’ll be a good mom for a second child. I just get a touch anxiety when thinking about finding that balance between both children. I’ll be postpartum and still needing to do all the homemaking things I need to do. I cook all of our meals, I clean our house, I entertain my first born, the list goes on.
How do I shut off all those thoughts and squash the negativity and doubt when it creeps in? Well the simple answer is
I don’t.
Let them come. I allow them to have there moment because they’re necessary. I need them to say that I’m not good enough because then that strengthens my confidence and resilience to say, YES I AM STRONG ENOUGH. It helps me to know my worth since those thoughts are just fear. And I’m not afraid per say, I’m just nervous about this huge change I’m about to roll into.
I practice a lot of mindfulness if you’ve seen any of my other posts. That’s how I try to approach these fear based feelings is to no longer just squish them down into the shadows because that’s how they end up bursting out and regret could be the result of an over reaction.
Like I mentioned earlier, writing and journaling have always been a great resource for me even at a young age. So when I do feel these emotions I write them down and hold space for them. This way they can appear and fade like smoke and I feel better afterward.
My Toddler and Me
My son has always been an independent kid ever since he could crawl but has still maintained a healthy, secure attachment with me.
As of lately though, he has been EXTRA clingy. Before he never wanted me to hold him or cuddle with him or do anything for him really.
Now, he doesn’t even want to talk on the phone with my mom or socialize with kids at the playground. It’s mom, mom, mom 24/7 in this season. I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy because he’s very aware there’s a new baby coming, or if it’s just a phase he’s going through.
If you know more please give me some insights because that’s been the toughest part. Just how much he doesn’t want ANYONE else, not even his father. We obviously still all spend time together but if he wants me, his father will not suffice.
As Time Goes By
The closer I get to my due date, I thought I’d be more anxious, but it’s actually quite the opposite. I’m feeling very ready and prepared to start this new chapter.
I feel more confident about raising a toddler while pregnant and ready to tackle it while having a new baby as well.
Maybe it’s because I’ve expressed that fear of having multiple kids and not being able to balance attention, affection, time, whatever, and I’ve gotten a lot of support from everyone (of course) reassuring me that I’ll be great and it’ll be a breeze.
Maybe it’s because I don’t need to do much for it. I already have the stuff I need like diapers and a bassinet. My house is already very minimized and baby proofed, not that my newborn will be to getting into anything just yet.
Maybe it’s just my mind relaxing before the big day. Who knows but I’m glad I’m becoming less stressed about everything!
An Honest Moment
If I’m being honest with myself and with you, I’m still scared. I’m scared my toddler will watch too much tv. Scared my baby won’t sleep as good as my first. Terrified of getting the postpartum blues like I’ve had before.
There’s plenty to be scared of.
But there’s far more to be excited about.
And that excitement outweighs any fear and doubt that comes up.
I know that I can do this. Women have had twelve babies and been just fine and carried on with life.
If you have already been raising a toddler while pregnant or are past that and in the veteran stage, I’d love to hear about your insights and experience!