This was my first entry of the year in my notebook. I wrote it on the ninth of January after weeks of writing my grief out. Endless words of loneliness and sorrow that I have yet to re-read. It will probably be months before I look at those entries again. I felt this a good first blog post of the new year. Even though, the year has already begun and I probably won’t get it published until two weeks from now, it still feels right. Here’s to a new year and a renewal of slowly mothering our children and ourselves.
How long has it been? I’d look back at older entries, but I’ve gotten better at ignoring trivial things of/in the past. I still learn from it, as we all do, but lingering for too long in the rear view distracts me from what’s current, and what is coming. It has been some time since I’ve stretched my writing muscles. My hand is already sore up to my elbow. That’s also partially from moving boxes, unpacking the kitchen, and digging through totes for a matching pair of socks. But the coffee is fresh and hot, the children are building train tracks and I’m starring up an evergreen tree three times as tall as our new single-story rental.
Busy, busy, busy.
The last few months have been that sevenfold. I had been packing since October for a moving date f November 6, then November 27, then December 31. It was January 2 when we finally left. Now, we are here and it’s still busy-ness, but without a timeline.
I can create more intention in this ‘busy work’ without creating stress.
I can really take my time with creating our new home atmosphere. Yes, it will take longer to unpack. Yes, the house may be unorganized for a little bit longer. But once everything has a home and a place ours will follow. It already feels like a home, at least to me. I’m putting up my cookbooks and herbs harvested from last years garden. The kids are fighting over who gets Thomas the train. Bread’s baked and our bed is made.
Slowly, but surely, our home is unfolding.
The wind is making the trees dance. I miss pausing and appreciating ALL of God’s creations, not just the ones He helped me make 😉 I’ve committed myself to renew my slow motherhood in more ways than one of course.
Not just in reminding my heart to be gentle and hold a posture of patience, but that God has got my back.
He’s with me in it all, through it all. Going through the trials of miscarriage , moving to a new state, military separation from my husband; doing it all alone has made me more aware of how untrue that really is. I may not have a village, a tribe, a club, but I have -God. He sent me my mother-in-law just in time. He sent me His Son to guide me. To find peace and be still, again. Even in the midst of going so fast.
I’ve forgotten how incredible stillness is. It’s rain through the pines. Wind in the chime. Chickadees at the feeder. Boys making shrill train whistles. Dang, I have missed mothering slowly.
Today I will be restful. My body is sore from moving a washing machine and my mind needs a break from ‘how can I make this kitchen functional’. So, I’ll write. I may play some music and unpack easy bedroom boxes. But I do want to ponder on how I can renew my slow motherhood journey…
- write every morning
- switch to decaf coffee
- dance more
- give my children my full attention when prompted
- don’t let my to do list rule my day
- practice the guitar
- create a morning basket for the boys
- walk everyday (when the rain breaks)
- be on my phone even less (current average 2 hours a day)
- read before bed instead of watch a show
- play more
- daily devotional and simple scripture for the boys
- bless the house every night (sweep & light a candle)
- take more photos/videos while they’re young
- kiss my husband more!
- treat myself with love & don’t forget that I too am a child of God
This practice of me trying to renew my slow motherhood is just that, a practice. It is like each parents work of art. Our unique fingerprint on our children, and the world. Future generations and the families that will begin with us. An ongoing practice that I don’t ever see ending, even after our children leave home (tears forming in my eyes at the thought) because I’ll always be their mother and how I express that will change as time goes on.
*Sigh
I already feel more at home writing this. Just thinking of getting back to balance is warming my heart on this gray, rainy day in Washington.
To parenting slowly and confidently!
Verbatim from my notebook with maybe one or two spelling errors fixed along the way. There is always so many things going on in the background of a ‘bloggers’ life. I’ve been working on a book of poetry as well as a free slow motherhood challenge/course. Not sure what it will amount to just yet, but if you have any suggestions or requests, drop a comment or send an email, I’ll always get back to you!
I’m glad to be back out here in the world wide web with you all. Thanks for joining me in this new year of renewal and rejuvenation.
