Being a first time parent, first time stay at home mom, first time being married, first time in a completely new life, is not an easy pill to swallow. It’s a very complex and quick transition that I wasn’t ready for. No ones ever truly ready for parenthood. You think you are at first; you’ve read the books, taken the classes, prepared the nest, checked all the boxes. Once that screaming new human comes out, everything seems to fly right out the window. Lets talk about how I simplify motherhood so I don’t lose my head.
There may be hundreds of tip and tricks and hacks flooding your search in Pinterest. You’ve probably tried a lot, if not all of them.
Yeah that was me too.
This is what has worked and still works to this day. These things have helped to simplify motherhood IMMENSELY. Here’s what I did…
I DID LESS. Crazy right?
I stopped trying…to try.
That was probably the most exhausting part, attempting to keep control of every single thing. Then losing the control would cause everything to be worse.
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Minimal Rules
Now I’ll probably get a bunch of crap for this but it works. I swear. I’m not a crazy person. Yes we have structure in our house, yes we have boundaries and limits. However, I’m not constantly trying to control where my child goes and what he gets into. Which I will go in depth more with the next paragraph. When you have a lot of rules, there will be more to be broken. More upset between you and your child because they aren’t listening to you and you are allowing them the freedom to do whatever it was they wanted to do.
Adjust the environment
For the appropriate age of course. This is honestly my favorite. This allows you to know that nothing fragile will be broken, no major hazards are in your child path of exploration, and everyone can feel more at ease in a home not constantly fighting child locks and tripping over baby gates. Put up what you don’t want them getting into. Remove safety hazards, close/lock doors of rooms that aren’t as safe as you’d like. In doing so, you don’t have to constantly hover over your child making sure they don’t stick things in electrical sockets behind your back.
Make chores a fun activity
I can’t do any chore in my house without my son by my side wanting to mix the pancake batter, press the laundry button, or open the trash can for the vacuum lint. He sees me do it all the time so naturally he’s going to want to partake. What we do now is put on some music and get stuff done. Make it seem like you’re having so much fun throwing the laundry in the dryer or washing the dishes. In their eyes it looks like super fun to throw things into a big bright machine that magically whirs around for an hour at the press of a button.
Just add water
When all else fails, these last two always work for us. Take a shower with them, bath whatever, let them stand at the sink safely and play ‘dishes’. In the summertime find a cheap container and put water in it, a kiddie pool, a hose, honestly anything you can put water in will be entertainment for hours. Our son will play forever pouring out the dogs water and filling it back up.
Get outside
My favorite way to simplify motherhood! Even in the winter months, for twenty minutes at a time, throw on that gear you have and go walk around the block, go play in the car, find a playground or open field to release the wild child that is probably suffering from serious cabin fever. Most of the time my son walks around the backyard just wandering around looking out for dog poop for me to pick up. The summers obviously much easier as long as you have an umbrella for those extra long days of sun.
There’s plenty of things you can do to help simplify motherhood. Time is the only thing that really helps, time and experience. It’s not an easy thing to become a parent over night, but you can make it simpler by paring down on what you feel works for you. If a nighttime show helps that kid sleep longer, have at it. If 14 books before bed is what they want to do, let them have their books.
As long at it works for you and your child don’t let other people’s judgements make you feel like what you’re doing is wrong because it’s not. Whatever’s right for you, is simply that, right for YOU.
You learn as you go, and you learn from your mistakes. Don’t get down on yourself as you go through this metamorphosis.
Just be patient and don’t be afraid to try something out of your comfort zone. The ease will come. Time, patience, and love is all you need mama.
In Gratitude,
Tayler
